![]() ![]() And I will praise the day when this awareness sinks in. From the New Yorker Festival, the couples therapist and podcast host discusses infidelity, apologies, and the problem. ![]() The New York Times called her the most important game-changer in sexuality and relational health since Dr. If we manage to use it this way the messengers of hate and shame won’t be needed again. Love Is Not a Permanent State of Enthusiasm: An Interview with Esther Perel. Esther Perel ( estherperel) is a psychotherapist and the New York Times bestselling author of Mating in Captivity, which has been translated into 26 languages, and The State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity. ![]() To free us from shame, let us breath again and shed the tears needed to liberate our pains. Hatred is essential to unfreeze the frozen parts in us. It’s how we, over the years, discovered that the energy of hatred is needed to protect the heart ánd to decide to open up. Not that I acted on it, I was aware of it though. My partner however never hated anyone, while I could feel hate deeply, even from a young age. However a heart without a fire is thin as air and leads to nothing and a fire without a heart is relentless. It always fired me up, because it’s so not true.Īlthough it seemed on the surface true, because I am mostly calm and everything first has to sink in before I re-act and my partner is, better said was, very fast and firm in re-acting. ![]() They always said to me that I was the one with ‘the heart’ and my partner the one with ‘the power’. Yes of course, that's why you're a couple, to reveal what's lingering in unconsciousness. ![]()
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